but PRIOR to the festivities...

I had a heart-to-heart with myself at the park. 

Following my bi-annual haircut and two glasses of wine, I needed a place to entertain myself before the crew got off work. Debating between a pedicure, Starbucks, and the park, I chose the latter and meandered my way through the oaks to find a shady bench by the river.

Ahh, sweet solace. 

You see, I feel most at peace when I am outside next to a body of water at dusk. The private moments when I am assured by the Lord that despite the lies my mind attempts to poison my heart with, I can certainly do this thing called "Life," and that He promises to be right by my side the entire time. 

I had a chance to write:

I am grateful for these stolen moments of quiet solitude. Rarely do I take the time to be alone....still... and to enjoy the serenity of my surroundings.

      The calm St. Johns murmurs before me, not really going anywhere, but offering a relaxing outlet to those hoping to snag tonight's dinner, others cruising peacefully on its smooth waters. A slight breeze makes its presence known every so often... just enough for a comfortable setting despite September's traditionally oppressive heat. The air hints of ocean water and of the great river from my childhood memories... evenings spent in the waning sunlight traversing the river's rocks with my dad and sister, proud that I can leap from rock to rock without assistance while Annie still needs the assurance of Dad's stable hand. 

       As if to assist in this memory, a sketchy ice cream truck pulls up to this park for a brief moment, cutting through the water's lull with its hagged tune, which is ironically mimicking the one from my own childhood. (One SuperMario Brother's ice cream cone with the gumball eyeballs, please.) 

     Another affirmation that this hard bench was meant for my tush at this very moment... the crickets just began their orchestral song that signals the end of summer days: My favorite summer sound, which I haven't heard for weeks.

      The sun sinks lower as a September storm rolls in, parkgoers doing their things (letting out the energy of their furry four-legged companions, children sprinting at the sheer joy of open space, workerbees staring out t the water, probably seeking a moment's peace like I am before returning to homechildrenwiveslife. 

I am beyond content in this place

my sushi roll consumed

my hairs cut

my papers about to be graded while

sucking down a decaf coconut mocha

Thank you, Lord, for these moments. They were much needed for the survival of my soul, and I appreciate you looking out for me and sending love in ways you knew I'd listen. I pray this year would be filled with plenty of these quiet times, that you would reach into the emptiest parts of my heart to

         refresh

         renew

         recharge

even  if that is a constant, daily process. As I've realized in my daily life, I'm one of THOSE who needs repeated reminders that I am ours. That I am special, worth it, and that 

I belong.