Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Today's the day

Today the decision was made. 

You know, the one we've been waiting for since, oh, July? 
A sweet feeling of peace wove itself through everything I did today... 
knowing that the next phase of our lives rests in God's hands.
(and yes, I realize that it's always this way but you know what I mean.)

Soon, the news will be made known
and this girl's life will be thrown into organized chaos
preparations planned out, a timeline created
a bucketlist to accomplish with friends
sponging up as much time together with family as humanly possible 
finding a home for my fur baby if need be
(just that thought made a brick land on my chest 
and tears well up) 
selling the cars, our 'stuff' 

i was reminded today that 
there is no need for fear in this life
perfect love casts out fear
and to not be afraid, for He is with me always

wherever we're destined for, it's meant to be
if it's right here in this very home for another year
or the boonies of India 
i. can't. wait. 




Thursday, January 24, 2013

it was a fail.

I didn't make it.

The first day was great-- I felt pretty good, the smoothies were okay and the lack of coffee wasn't affecting me.

Then day two-- a train wreck. I had a pounding headache, I was hungry, and the smoothies lost their luster. The frigid air outside made it miserable to consume frosty drinks.

So I admit: when it got challenging, I quit. Yep, I'm a quitter.

BUT I did take some positives out of this:

-eating cleanly-- roasting the veggies instead (without salt) and quinoa

-only half of my normal coffee was consumed this morning. Score.

-I still haven't had cheese. and only one piece of bread. and no beer. This is monumental-- seriously.

Not the most exciting post, but at least one for me to keep track for myself.

:)

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Day One

It's the end of the first day, only 7:30, and I'm tirrrrrred.

Keep in mind that I did nothing that required effort today. In fact, it mostly looked like this:


I cleaned, mostly because I realized my keys were in Michael's car (confining me to the house.) I needed to keep myself busy to not dwell on the fact that I couldn't eat anything other than the smoothies. With that said, though, I was full the entire day... the smoothies were huge. I ended up drinking half of each every couple of hours. And they were all pretty tasty! My favorite was the night one-- similar to the blueberry/kale one I've been drinking all week, with a more ingredients and a touch of cayenne. Yum, definitely a keeper.

I fared pretty well without caffeine (better than I thought!) All day I felt great until about 3 when I started lagging. That's generally the time that I drink more caffeine, mostly green tea... but I was okay. Maybe that's the reason why I'm ready for bed at 7:30...

I drank more water than I ever have-- these things make me super thirsty, which in turn made me pee. A lot. I don't know what I'll do tomorrow at work.

The hardest part was when Michael came home and made nachos-- they smelled delicious. But I stayed in my room until he was finished, and made my dinner smoothie.



I don't feel any different today, just tired. I hope this is worth it...

Time to Cleanse

I have always wanted to attempt a "cleanse"... I've only heard of the positives behind participating in one. With the holidays still lingering and travels ensuing, I've of late been eating my face off in gut-busting (albeit delicious!) foods. At Epcot this weekend, there were multiple meals in which I ate until I could not force one more bite of food in my mouth; it left me feeling uncomfortable and, well, gluttonous. It just seems like the right time for a 'detox,' denying myself the daily must-haves (coffeebreadcheesebeer) and replacing it with tons of fruits and veggies, healthy oils, and supplements.

But eating is also my favorite thing to do, along with drinking loads of coffee; a cleanse seems like a near-impossible task! I claim that I can stop drinking coffee whenever I want and be fine--- but could I really do that without a headache and massive crankiness ensuing? I guess we'll find out.

I went for Dr. Oz's 3-Day Detox Cleanse because I trust him... that it's not just some crazy fad-detox and I'll actually reap benefits. I like that I can have green tea in the mornings-- plus, I'm on a smoothie kick and I'm actually looking forward to trying the recipes.

The process began with a late-night run to Publix and an after-party at Kristin's to prepare the foods for the three days:




Holy crap there's a lot of choices!

The cost was slightly more than the promised "$16 a day;" fortunately Kristin and I already had some of the items on the list. The more expensive ones can be used far beyond this cleanse, like the coconut oil, lavender drops for the bath I can't wait to take, and the Omega-3 supplements. 

What a perfect day to start. I took my optional planning day off-- it's chilly, I'm covered with my new quilt from my sweet Aunt Kathie, green tea in tow. I'll keep myself busy today so my mind won't focus on the fact that I'm not eating/drinking my usual cheesebreadcoffeebeer. And despite Kristin's morning text of "I don't think I can stomach this smoothie..." I'll still press on. 



Here goes nothing-- I can do anything for three days, right?



Tuesday, January 15, 2013

i might be sick, but...

... it doesn't mean that I'm not going to take full advantage of this absolutely gorgeous day. Instead of vegging in the confines of my cave-like room, I can snuggle up with my favorite quilt outside and enjoy the birds' morning soliloquies. Oh what life would be like if this were a morning routines, before heading into work! Teaching adolescents would be a piece of cake.


So even with my left eye weeping nonstop and bouts of sneezes taking over, I'm able to spend time reflecting and praying, working through a book for a bible study with coworkers and the prayer book Dad got me for Christmas. Which is awesome, by the way. I love having a focus each morning--- it beats sitting down and feeling like I have to pray for every single thing going on in my life.

This morning brings peace and contentment to this heart of mine. Even sitting on my simple porch, (my view partially blocked by plywood that's been lying dormant against the grill since November,) reminds me of the beauty of God's creation and the promises of a future guided by Him. 

A line in my prayer book stuck out to me this morning, quoted from a missionary named Ruth Myers:

I bow at the feet of Him who was dead,
and is now alive forever and ever.
I exalt Him, I yield myself to Him,
for He is worthy of the total response of my entire being. 

My prayer is for you to experience peace and restful contentment this week... enjoy this day and what it will bring!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

A Week's Worth

I know I'm still riding the "Yay-it's-a-New-Year" high with the whole exercising and eating well, making it a point to spend time with God daily, keeping the house tidy...
 it feels pretty dang good.  The best way to describe it would be balanced, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Let's keep it going-- here's to round two!

My new Sunday routine involves preparing snacks for the week. Not so much meals (too much work)  but veggies and fruits washed and cut up, easy to grab to satiate my need to graze.
Took me an hour-ish, but it's an hour well spent. Out of it came:

Egg muffin cups -(quick protein snack at work or delish on an english muffin in the morning)
Kale- cut and ready for smoothies
Greek Yogurt dip made (dill, lemon, garlic, cuke, yummy goodness)
Citrus water (trying to fight off the sick!)
Cukes and celery cut up and ready for consumption
Lunches made for tomorrow (Mine and Mike's) 




Egg Muffin Cups--

2 eggs & a cup of whites whisked together mixed with whatever's in the fridge- this time, a cup of chopped kale, 2 slices of crumbled bacon, a handful of pepper jack cheese, green onions, salt & pepper 

Bake at 375 for 25 minutes. 

YUM. 


Friday, January 11, 2013

Dear Baby Evan,

Dear Baby Evan,

Welcome to this world, little one! I just found out that you've made your entrance into this life; let me describe to you how beautiful it was the day you were born. 

While we should be experiencing frost and dreary cold, your birth gifted us with sweet sunshine in a way that hasn't shone for months. Somehow, you must have known that the promise of a beautiful weekend ahead would be a perfect time to jump right in (even if you took your mommy and daddy by surprise!) You are already showing yourself to be like your mommy, whose typical day growing up was spent at the beach in the glorious Florida sunshine. And, way to pick a Friday! You'll soon learn how awesome Fridays are; it's the day we look forward to the most because it means a weekend of playing and resting. 

You are so loved already and I can't wait to meet your precious self. Thank you for bringing a day full of warmth and joy in the middle of the winter--the Lord has a beautiful life planned ahead of you!

Love, 
Aunt Rachel


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Smoothie Time

My life has forever changed.
Gone are the days of exploding hot soup into my eyes because I filled the pitcher too high.
No more unscrewing all the parts to clean it out.
Say goodbye to stopping, opening the lid, stirring whatever it is up with a spoon, replacing the lid, repeat in five more seconds.

I now have this:


And that has made all the difference!
I think I've made one smoothie in my lifetime... this week alone I've had three.
Maybe I'll stick to a different one every week? 


Blueberry/Kale Smoothie:

1/2 a cup of frozen blueberries, almond milk, and kale
1 tbsp of almond butter

I'm obsessed. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Back to Routine

I've made it through two days of school and I'm wondering why it isn't Friday yet.

So in celebration of a new year and new routines, I'm attempting to stick with a prayer book my dad gave me for Christmas. It goes through scripture, cool words from lots of different saints, and then prompts you to pray for your own specific things. Prayer is definitely a discipline that I suck at, unless I need something, like last week at the beach... "Oh God please help me find the truck key so that I don't have to tow the car to a place where they can mold a new key out of the existing ignition. On behalf of my marriage, thank you, Amen." (I immediately found it lying in the surf, no big deal. Thanks, God!)

I know that resolutions are quick to falter but seriously... I want to stick with this one. Spending time in prayer before my day starts should be an imperative-- especially if I've been a follower of Christ for nearly half my life. (When I just typed 'Christ, I actually typed 'Christmas.' I'm a follower of that, too.) And it's not easy--- like running, probably. When I start getting back into running, I hate life. I can't breath, I walk, I'm bored... kind of similar with prayer. I get easily distracted thinking about ANYTHING other than prayer, or I ramble, and sure enough boredom creeps up on me and I hastily spurt out inyournameamen.

But surely, like anything, it becomes easier? What starts out as barely being able to make it through one mile ends up as a marathon, perhaps?

We'll see. It's my 'spiratualution,' and I'm stickin' to it.

In other words, a student just dropped off homemade tamales because one day in class I raved about how much I love them. God is so good-- just proof that I'm where I'm supposed to be and doing what I love...

Here's to our new selves!




Sunday, January 6, 2013

A New Creation

(Still in reflection mode.)

2012 brought about such a sweet change in my life.

Last spring, I was encouraged by Ashley to seek out and try the CORE ministry that I had attempted the year prior but was unable to do because of existing commitments. To be honest, I was terrified-- the thought of opening up to complete strangers was daunting... driving to Jacksonville and giving up a night (plus two weekends) away from Mike wasn't appealing and what did I have to change about myself anyways? I was going to church, involved with YoungLife, generally a happy person most of the time. But on the inside, that wasn't entirely true.

Despite being surrounded by a loving husband, family, friends, students, etc., I felt alone.... that nobody truly understood me or the things that I felt. These feelings were confusing, because everything would be wonderful and life was full of excitement, then out of nowhere this despair would creep in and I felt inadequate in every aspect of who I was, as a wife, teacher, friend, whatever. Or Mike would say something in jest and it would cut me to the core, and I'd be unable to recoup, closing myself off from him until the feeling passed.

I had no idea where these feelings came from. My childhood was practically perfect, I was a good kid in high school and college and found my soul mate and an ideal job early on in life. Who was I to feel like this life wasn't good enough, when people around me went through incredible tragedies and loss yet were living life abundantly?

It was a tough place to be, and I was isolated.

Through CORE, I realized that isolation was exactly where the enemy of God wanted me to be. When we are isolated, it's easy to wallow in mediocrity and feelings of inadequacy. We believe the lies that the enemy is feeding us; the lies are what deteriorates our identity, causes derision in our relationships, and brings us to low places. I was at my lowest when CORE began last year.

At the beginning we were asked to reflect on why we were there and what our hopes were-- I wasn't sure exactly why I was there but I knew that something was wrong; I was not myself. At that second session, tears were shed, hearts broken over hearing my sweet sisters' stories, and I knew something monumental was about to take place in Jodi's office that season. It wasn't easy... sharing your life and innermost struggles with women whom you just met isn't supposed to be comfortable, but the freedom I experienced during that spring is unparalleled to anything I've experienced before.

I can now rest in the fact that I am the bride of Christ- that my number one role on this earth is to pursue a relationship with Him. Everything else, my roles as a wife, teacher, friend, daughter... it all falls into place beautifully when my main priority is God. As a woman, I will always struggle with the question, "Am I doing enough?" but I now can detect the lies; I can find ways to stop myself before my thoughts spiral out of control. My relationship with my husband is different- stronger, and I can love him wholly without a damaged perception of myself.

The bonds formed with the women in my group will never be broken. Much was learned through hearing these women's stories... tears and laughter, deep pain and moments of joy that I'll never forget. Though one of our own was called Home this past month, her incredible personality and ability to love selflessly will always stay with me. They loved me how Christ loves; my journey will look very different from here on out because of them.

My hope is for my dear friends and family to experience the same joy over the freedom to be yourself. You were uniquely and wonderfully made with a distinct purpose on this earth. God has well-equipped you for this life--- you are more than enough.

Michael Gungor's "You Make Beautiful Things" was my theme song for the year. Listen to it if you get a chance. Much love to you all--

All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyPBtExE4W0












Here's to a new year full of hope and joy!

Friday, January 4, 2013

New Year's

I've been putting off posting for this entire week-- time alone means lots of contemplating, and I want so badly to put my thoughts on 'paper' but I haven't known where to start. So, we'll save the it's-a-new-year-let's-reflect-on-the-year reminiscing for another time, and let's put in writing my 'resolutions.' Before I start, a slight disclaimer: New Year's resolutions are rarely accomplished. We set the bar too high, we forget in a week and slink back into what's comfortable, even if it's not where we want to necessarily be. I understand this.

But I will still make them, darnit.

The start of a 2013 Bucket List, pre-leaving Florida:

-- Pray more. (Stick with new prayer book from Dad-- it's awesome!)

-- Eat less. (Weight Watchers for the next 3 months-- done and done.)

-- Gate River Run with momma (booked, paid for, doing it.)

--Use my new immersion blender at least once a week (smoothies, pesto, soups, check.)

--Go to yoga (bought the Groupon months ago; need to use it.)

--Get back into blogging. I miss writing and the quiet moments it forces me to take.

--Send letters at least once a month. Who doesn't like getting mail?


That's it for now. There's a trail run calling my name...


(PS, just looked through last year's bucket list of resolutions; at least it wasn't a complete doozie)

(check) *See Annie in Washington
(check) *Visit NYC
(fail) *At least 2 hiking trips... one spring, one fall
(fail) *2 local camping trips
(check) *Jaunt through Spain
(fail) *Get back into tennis
(fail) *Run in three races
(check) * Plane flowers and mulch the yard in the spring
(check, sitting in it right now) *Set up a hammock
(epic fail) *Successfully grow tomato again
(ehhhhh) *Plan out weekly meals and establish a cleaning routine
(check) *Charleston with AMy and Paul
(somewhat) *Play piano
(check) *Try paddle boarding
(Ha! I was going to make this one for 2013... seems I have a problem...) *No more beer on the weekdays. Unless Kristin is over.