To re-address....

In a moment of recent brokenness I chose to post what I was going through. I don't want to go through this life pretending that everything is so full of joy all the time-- I'd say the majority most definitely IS, but I for sure have my moments of weakness and insecurities that I feel need to be documented.

I've had trouble articulating what it is that I'm experiencing-- but while writing an email to a friend, I felt I had nailed it. So I just copied and pasted parts:

Thanks for your email, it's just been a weird week. I want my blog to be a true reflection of my life, not only the joy but the yuck-- so even though it's challenging to throw myself out there for everyone to read, it helps me work through it.


For my small group we have to identify the lies that we base our identities on, and I'm realizing that mine is that I tend to feel not 'good' enough in a multitide of situations (not pretty enough, not a good enough wife, teacher, friend, whatever.


So I think because I've pinpointed that lie and have been journaling and praying through it, trying to let it go, I'm 'attacked' even more with those insecurities. It was absolutely nuts, the way my mind took off that night, playing scenario after scenario of the worst possible situations, playing on my insecurities in my marriage. I couldn't control it-- it really freaked me out.


But I'm good now--- still 'recovering,' but I feel a heck of a lot better and hope to 'purge' myself of the yuck that I'm having a difficult time relinquishing.
 
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Counting down the hours until the weekend which promises Charleston with my BFF and her hubs, and a big 'ol case of Fat Tire.