Changed for the better

What a strange, emotional day.

Knowing that it's your last few days of a chapter slows you down and racks your body with all kinds of emotions. It began with an early wakeup, an eagerness that I haven't felt all year to prepare for school and be there early. I arrived in the parking lot and hesitated thinking maybe it was Saturday, seeing as it was nearly empty and I was there before my work-wife. That NEVER happens.

I took the long way towards the double doors, savoring the bit of pride that swells up every once in a while that this is MY school. I have the greatest teaching job here, impressionable minds to look forward to, the sweetest friends a girl could ask for. And for a moment I was saddened that the joy I once felt when coming to school had been buried, but isn't that what happens when you work at any career for any length of time?

I sat at my desk in my quiet classroom, savoring the solitude before another crazy day. My second-to-last.

And then the goodbyes began... students and teachers who weren't sure if they'd see me on my final day, and it was too much. Group hugs where an entire class managed to squeeze the life out of me. Little ones begging for my Instagram account so they could follow my adventures. Messages like this:

And okay, I'll be honest, one class pretty said "Peace out Mrs. Checchia, have a good life!" without any sniffles or accolades and I was left chuckling to myself, thinking, well great, glad to have spent the last year of my life investing into your well-being. Whatevs. 

I can't wrap my mind around the enormity of ending this chapter... of, more or less, trekking in a different direction and knowing, quite frankly, that there may be people that I won't see for a good, long while. Goodbyes aren't sufficient enough, for what I really mean is, "Hey, thanks for helping shape who I am, for believing in me and teaching ME about what it means to truly live....." Because that's what I want the people I've come to love these past 5 years to know.

Tomorrow is going to be an even stranger mix of emotions... like a bandaid being ripped off, mixed with joy and a sense of completion, sorrow, fear, love... but above all, peace. 

This song from Wicked sums my heart up perfectly:

I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are lead to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime.
So, let me say before we part:
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you'll have rewritten mine
By being my friend.

Because I knew you
I have been changed...
For good.

Much love to you all.