My heart aches.

This afternoon Mike and I got some news that shook up our whole world. Mike's dad has been diagnosed with leukemia pretty much out of nowhere. He's been sick with what was though to be a cold or bronchitis for the past month, and when it didn't get better, they took an MRI and figured out what it was. I seriously can't believe this is happening. All day I was out of it at school as I awaited a phone call. Fortunately I didn't find out until after school.

My teachers are beyond incredible. What a support system I've got there, from both them and my principal. They were beyond the normal 'sympathetic' and i truly felt like their hearts broke for us. Nancy even started crying for me, which really touched my heart because I know that they care about me. Two of them battled cancer a couple of years ago while another two lost their parents around the same time, so they basically kicked me out of school and told me to take care of my husband. My principal even said that she'd go in and teach my classes if she had to. They're amazing. I know that I will be able to lean on them as Mike and I support each other and edify his family through this difficult time.  

First formal evaluation!

I had my first eval a couple of weeks ago, and I finally got to talk to my principal this morning. It was truly an awesome experience and I am super thankful for my wonderful school. My lesson plan was borrowed from my mentor teacher: we read Helen Keller's autobiography then they attempted to sign into each others' hands to see how hard it would be to be blind and deaf. It was fun.... my principal was impressed. She had great things to say about the observation, and I'm not writing this to brag but so I will always remember this positive experience! She noted:

-how my response time was excellent (new teachers don't tend to wait long enough for students to respond because they feel awkward.) Good thing we specifically practiced waiting for forever in grad school

-how I was good at multitasking when people walked in the room to interrupt 

-loved how the students were engaged, worked together grading each others' papers, and 'popcorn' reading

-she suggested that I could develop 'higher order thinking' questioning skills to really get them to dig deep 

She also suggested that I should get middle-grades certified for job security. I was so encouraged by her words, especially when she told me she wants me around forever! What a blessing to be at this school around incredible mentors who are so nurturing. I am where I am supposed to be, and I praise God for his grace with my life decisions and His goodness in placing me in the perfect school. I love my job! AND I get to read middle school books all the time. What could be better?

I heard a story about a teacher in Charlotte who is suspended for saying something like "I teach at the most ghetto school in Charlotte." Isn't that crazy? Although I know I don't talk trash about my school/students, it does make me hesitant to keep a blog online for everyone to see. I just feel like I could accidently say something really dumb that could get me in trouble without meaning to. I think I've said a couple things in the classroom accidently! Ooops. 

Thanksgiving was wonderful, and it's nice to be back to the kiddos. I am really growing fond of them and enjoy watching them have 'a-ha' moments. It makes me want to do so much more for them, and I feel like my teaching is boring and never good enough. What more can I do? How can I better prepare myself for lesson plans? It helps to keep in mind the purpose... the students won't remember much, but they will remember the activities and what made the information stick in their brains. 

Interims just came out and the grades aren't so good. They got a little lazy and stopped doing homework, plus they're losing their classwork before it gets turned in. Not acceptable! I'm not sure what to do with kids who didn't turn in projects ( i have 3 or 4...) So I'll pretty much be grading 100 boxes for the rest of my life. Hooray. The majority are great, though, and as a whole I am proud of them. While projects are great, I can see why they're kind of a hassle. It's draining to talk about every day (I think I need a better system for answering questions!) And it's hard not to be too subjective. I like concrete rubrics so I'm not sitting there analyzing how many points should be taken off and comparing it to another project of equal effort. 

Well, three weeks until Christmas break. I think we're all looking forward to it, and hopefully we all won't get too squirrely leading up to it :) 

Did I really just tear up at a pet adoption commercial?

I think I'm physically done for the week. I thought this week would never end.... I was so appreciative when it was over. My kids were super squirrely today because the first dance is tonight. I decided not to go, although I would like to see them dressed up. I'm sure they'll be super cute! Um, I'm not sure I have much more to say. They have a biography project due in a couple of weeks, so I hope they have fun with that. I'm going for a run. If I can get myself off this couch. 

Reflecting on the first 9 weeks...

Here are my reflections on the first nine weeks written at Starbucks on a beautiful day. 

            As a teacher, I need to be clearer with giving directions. I feel that there were times that I wasn’t clear, which resulted in confusion/frustration on both ends of the spectrum. This is partly due to it being my first year and not having  set expectations from day 1. The students also need more reminders than what I’m giving them. They are showing me that they’re not spending the necessary time preparing at home for tests, completing homework. What can I do to boost this?  I think that I could make more of an effort to be in contact with parents. If a child receives lower than a ‘c’ on a test, I should ensure that the parent finds out with hopes that they will be on top of his/her student. I guess I assumed parents would keep up with the website, that students would write down assignments in their planners, etc., but I’ve realized that this isn’t the case. I do not want to hold my students’ hands, but I do have to remember that they are young and are just getting into the whole responsibility-thing. And I have to remember that I wasn’t the best at studying and keeping up with tests, but if my parents knew, then they wouldn’t let me live it down.

            I also need to be on top of making sure the students write in their planners. I really wasn’t on top of it, but I really need to be in order to cover my butt if parents say their students had no homework. I think that I could do it differently this nine weeks by having the students write down their homework for the whole week at the beginning of the week. I also need to remember to sign Tommy and Alec’s planner… so if they write it on Monday, this might help me better rather than attempting to remember every day.

            Next on the agenda… classroom management. Due to my ‘youthfulness’ and personality, I’m not the most threatening teacher. I’ve realized that I can manage my classes much easier through positive reinforcement and rewarding on-task behavior. I am blessed to not have any extreme discipline problems in any of my classes; it’s mostly talkative, hyper, or immature students, or lack of effort on assignments. Showing a ‘clip-of-the-week’ and allowing them to sit wherever they want on Fridays has been working well. Since I’m giving them time in class to start the vocabulary assignment, it might work well to not allow the students with zeroes on their homework to watch the clip. I could also pull the kids with names on the board outside… which could work if I’m standing at the door and having another student press ‘play’ on the computer. I hate to punish the entire class for a couple students unable to keep control of themselves, so we’ll try it this way and see how it goes.

            What about things I’ve done well? I feel like I’m so critical of my teaching that it’s hard to think about what was good. I’ve built rapport with the majority of my classes (sixth period is still a pain, but it’s not really their faults.) I’ve figured out a system of organization that, thus far, has worked for me. I’ve done a fair job of talking with parents (although I could make way more phone calls.) I think I’ve done an average job of incorporating technology into the majority of lesson plans. I’ve relied heavily on conversations with other teachers and have made it a point to seek out their wisdom/guidance/ideas, yet I’ve tried to figure things out on my own without seeming too needy. I’ve tried really hard to maintain a respectful manner towards all students, even if it’s super hard to love the obnoxious ones.

            Every morning I pray that I will be a reflection of Christ to them. I try to reflect on how I’ve treated them, how I’ve made them feel regardless of their stupid actions. They need a leader, an encourager, someone who can point them in the right direction lovingly. Have I done this? Have I been a positive example at all times? In the future, they won’t remember learning about genre, sentence types, or vocabulary tests. They won’t recall creating a figurative language booklet, reading AR books, or bi-weekly trips to the library. What they will remember is this: how did I make them feel? Did I belittle them, use too much sarcasm, make them feel incompetent, or did I admit my mistakes, talk to them like a stern but loving parent, encourage them on the little things? I hope they will remember me as a positive teacher, because with my own experience I feel like they were few and far between.