perhaps one day

Cheree and I had a conversation this weekend about these silly forms we filled out when we graduated and stuck in a time capsule. I'm pretty sure when asked ten years ago about where I'd be now, I believe my answer was "I'll be a nurse, married to a doctor, living on a farm with kids running around." I can't help but laugh at my former, somewhat naive self. How completely foreign, this life I dreamed as a child. All it took was one semester of chemistry to know that any job in a medical profession was out, at least back then.

But isn't life sweet? It's never how we intend, because where would the fun be in that? I never planned on teaching, marrying young or even living in Florida for any period of time after college but here we are. And life is sweet, just what the Lord had in mind.

Ten years... how rapidly we sail through time, one event to the next!

And in ten more years? I envision us living in an older house on a sizable chunk of land, with massive trees and a swing that we'll claim is for the kids, (but really is for me.) A huge garden will take up the yard, and it's in this garden that I'll teach science and life skills to my children (whom yes, I'll homeschool or send to a co-op or something like that.) We'll find a way to blend my granola self and my husband's stylish, modern ways into a life that's completely what was meant to be.

Take time to dream today. Where do you see yourself? What do you hope this life will bring?

he has my heart

I fell in love this weekend.

He's perfect--- likes to snuggle, smiles at my jokes, and eat's like a boss. 

I was blessed to spend the weekend with one of my closest/longest friends and her new baby. She let me do everything, essentially alleviating my hesitancies around newborns. Prior to this visit, I'd hold a newborn if you plopped it into my arms on the couch where it would stay until making noise, thus resulting in a freak out "takehimtakehim" moment. 

But now, everything's changed.

Like I said, I'm completely enamored. And not in a "I-need-one" kind of way. In fact, it helped to offset baby aches. Do you have any idea how hard it is to properly grow a baby? E needed to eat, like, every two hours! Feed, change, play, sleep, repeat. It was exhausting, and I'm not even his momma. I did have fun pretending... and one day it'll be right. 

I'm so proud of my sweet friend Cheree, who has taken on her new role with such grace and ease. We talked about everything... and I just love her willingness to share every aspect of her wee one with me! 

We even attempted a park & farmer's market visit. A success, mind you.

Love my friend, Cheree, and always being able to pick up where we left off.

Love her new life.

I also love sleeping and am not ready to give that up. 

still unsure.

Nearly a month ago we believed our next destination to be London; now we are back to square one without a clue of the next phrase, or when that will happen.

(Insert long, dramatic Napoleon Dynamite sigh.)

This is what purgatory might be like, I suppose, where our lives are a game and we are merely pawns waiting for the next move. It's not a bad place to be, but just, unsettling in a way. I'm forced to slow down and take each day one at a time, without stressing about the finality of leaving this house, this town, Diego...

With that said, we hope to find out within this week, seeing as Michael is collaborating with his peers in the program and working closely with the coordinator. I hope I hope I hope.

I'll continue trekking, doing what I can to prepare for the inevitable... sorting through life's souvenirs we've accumulated during this phase, selling what I can, praying like crazy for what's to come.

loss for words

So, we think it's London.

We think, we hope. We still aren't 100% sure. It could change in a heart beat. But I'll hold on to it, because it's at least setting everything in motion.

It's been a strange week indeed-- excitement mounting, stress creeping in, the beginnings of an epic to-do list, new job ventures taken into consideration.

Mind blown.

write more happiness

(i'm obsessed with this journal. i'm pretty sure i need it.) 

I cannot even begin to formulate my thought into words that make sense right now. All I can say is, what a week, what with the disappointment of the decision being postponed (Monday at 10!) and extracurriculars, one on top of the other (OM meetings every day after school and playing piano with the band kids for their competition tomorrow.) And I scheduled my formal evaluation for today, which is nerve-wracking in itself. Also, I can't stop thinking about these horrendous car accidents that occurred on 95 this morning... breaks my heart and makes me fear for my sweet husband's safety on his commute to and from work. 

It's not necessarily stress that I'm experiencing-- I'm just emotionally wiped out.

But God meets us in our tiredness; perhaps when I'm feeling my weakest, I'm more likely to turn to Him for rest. Take this afternoon, for instance. Ashley opened up her home to a small group of girls who have been working through a bible study on idols. I have absolutely loved our times together sharing a meal, laughing over stupid things, and getting real with our struggles. We were created to be in fellowship with each other; why do I find myself so often slinking back into solitude, when I know I benefit so much from walking through life with other women?

Anyways, this study really opened my eyes to ways that I continue to allow deception to worm its way into my life. That's a whole other discussion, one that I'm unable to formulate thoughts on tonight, but I will say that I feel challenged to limit my Facebook/Pinterest/Instagram time because I'm quite honestly addicted. Tonight, when I took the pup on a late walk, I left my phone at home. Normally I'd be listening to music and perusing Facebook; I would have missed out on the beauty that this night had to offer had I been plugged in reading about peoples' lives I am not a part of.

We walked to the amenity center where a huge open field invites Diego to sprint back and forth in ultimate freedom. As I stood in the middle of that dark field, I took note of the stars, which slowly revealed themselves the longer I gazed upwards. The trees reminded me of those in the northwest as the wind sighed through their branches. Ten minutes went by and a sense of 'deep peace' enveloped me; the weight that's been resting solidly on my shoulders all afternoon lifted. 

With Chopin on Pandora and a sleepy pup keeping my toes warm, I'd say that this was time well spent. Maybe this no-Facebook challenge will be easier than I've imagined...